If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
