She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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