It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
