I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
