I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
