should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
