we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
