Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
