i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
please come you make the beer taste better
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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