She's JV to your varsity
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
