I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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