Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
