finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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