oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize