In America we eat man semen.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Pants are for mortals
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
