You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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