You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
