Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
