There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
