It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
