Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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