i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
