Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
