Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
