i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So squirting runs in the family.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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