took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
