dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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