I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
