i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
