I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
