also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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