Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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