We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
