Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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