I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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