a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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