I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
