I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
