Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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