haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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