So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
