he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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