It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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