i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
