I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he shaved USA in his pubs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
