I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
