I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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