...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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