That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
