Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
