are you still at the devil's house?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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